Eulogy for My Father

I've been asked to share the eulogy I wrote for my father's eulogy by family and friends who were not able to attend his funeral...I have decided to share it here as an epilogue of sorts and as final closure to his story. To everyone who has read this biography, I thank you from the bottom of my heart....

On April 14th, 1929 a little boy was born in Budapest, Hungary. A little boy known as Laszlo Kamillo Makay of Mako and of Gelej de genere Csanad Duke and Prince of Transylvania. A little prince who would grow up in the great palaces and castles of Hungary, dining in his homes as a child with historical figures like General Douglas MacArthur and Prince Edward of England. Who would grow to help his father save seven Jewish families from the Nazis, as well as help the United States defeat plans for a military base by the Soviet Army. A little boy who would eventually endure torture at the hands of the KGB and help his own sister escape Hungary to a life of freedom in the US.

My dad. The prince. A hero in his own right…after escaping Hungary he had one vision in mind. His California dream. He turned down the opportunity to live in Lord Rothemere’s manor in England and a chance to live near his sister in Boston because he wanted to be close to the beach…the warm weather….the palm trees…you know…all of the things we love so much about our city. ;) He came here with nothing but that dream…not a penny to his name…not a lick of English in his vocabulary. Nothing but faith. And he made his life here. He met a Cuban lady on the beach in Santa Monica who would become his wife of 43 years….and then…he had me. I know I came as a surprise and quite late in life…as I think he had come to the conclusion that he’d be an eternal bachelor and never have children….but God had a different plan. And thankfully so! I quite enjoy being alive…thank you Apa! ;)

And even though having kids was not in his original plan, he fell into the role like a dream. I was his little princess….and later I was to understand that I wasn’t just his little princess like all little girls are to their daddies…my father had bestowed upon me his lineage….he had gifted me by birthright the titles of Duchess and Princess….and regaled me with stories and pictures of our family heritage. All of which were fascinating to me no matter how often it was repeated. I imagined dancing in grand ball gowns with my daddy…twirling around to the likes of Liszt and Mozart….but we lived humbly, always…but most importantly …my dad lived by the credo of always being kind and humble despite his roots. He taught me by example. Never raising his hand or voice…forever patient and loving. Just as you all know him to be. And he was funny…and so smart. Sharp as a tack until his last day on earth. Imagine working full time at the age of 87! He should’ve been laying on a beach somewhere in retirement bliss…but he wanted to feel useful…..and he loved everyone that he worked with….they were like an extended family to him (and I want to thank you all so much for loving him as much as you did….his Mercury Media family…God bless all of you).

He was also something of a rascal and I don’t know if that’s a side many of you were aware of….but over the years we had our inside jokes and he’d make me laugh to the point of tears. He loved me and I loved him more than I can put into words….He was, after all, the first man to ever hold my heart. I think if he could’ve handed me the moon on a platter he would have. I actually know he would have. But since that’s an impossibility, he did the next best thing….he’d sneak out and buy me cheeseburgers and fries anytime I was hungry or didn’t like what my mom had made for dinner! =) He’d say he was going for a walk and head to Jack In The Box and smuggle me the goods with a wink and a high five. That was my dad.

My bond with this incredible man ran so deep that even before I was old enough to think of marriage I vowed to never change my last name when I someday did….I knew that the Makay name would someday die with him and I wanted to keep it alive… and that is what has been done…and now there’s a new generation of Makays….his legacy lives on.

My father truly touched everyone he ever came into contact with….the words I hear most often are “noble”, “kind”, “humble”, “warm”, “generous”, “thoughtful”, “gentleman”….and they are all spot on. He was all of that….and so much more. I was not ready to say good-bye to this extraordinary man….I don’t think I could’ve ever been…..but I know he’s always going to be here with me…with all of us…that he is surrounded by the loved ones that passed before him….that he left this earth as much of a beautiful and honorable Prince as he entered it and that someday we’ll be reunited again. Nagyon szeretlek, Apa…. nyugodjék békében herceg (I love you daddy....rest in peace dear prince).

I want to thank all of you for coming to send my father off….allowing him to go home to his heavenly Father. I know that all of you loved him dearly and he loved you all as well. Thank you.

Goodnight, Sweet Prince

Around the 5am hour on May 4th, my father passed away. I had been meaning to finish his story this year and he had sent me a couple of emails with notes about his life here in the States when he arrived from Hungary. The week before his passing he started complaining about chest pain and was admitted to the hospital for observation and a possible valve replacement surgery. During his few days at the hospital he suffered from multiple heart attacks. He was under sedation the entire time. The last time I saw him truly cognizant I had visited him with the kids, he was joking with them to make them feel less worried. He said to them "I will have my surgery on Monday and then BOOM! I will be all better. Do not worry!" He never did get all better. As I walked away from his hospital room, he was eating his lunch and he looked up at me and gave me a wink and a nod. That kind, most beautiful man...how I miss those winks of his.

The day before his passing, my father came to.....for just a few minutes he opened his eyes and was able to understand me when I told him that I loved him, that the kids loved him. He squeezed my hand. He was so uncomfortable with the tubes down his throat, he couldn't speak. He was so fiercely independent and seeing him like this was extremely painful. When it came time to leave, he gave me a thumbs up...it was really all he could do....it would be the last time I saw him alive. Shortly after 5am the next morning I got the call from the hospital...the doctor saying they had tried unsuccessfully to resuscitate him and giving me his condolences. Nothing prepares you for this. Nothing. Ever.

This past week I spoke with a friend who is deeply intuitive. She told me that my father would come to me in the form of something that flies...something that would make itself very obvious. For the past week a very loud little bird has perched itself on the trellis in my backyard at the same time every, single day. He is singing now as I type this. Living in LA we always have birds chirping...but this one is different in tone, and in volume...and in consistency. And has driven me to sit and write this final chapter.

I will not transcribe my father's last bits of information in my own voice, but rather will copy and paste his last emails to me and place them here. In his voice. His words. As it was his life.

To all of you who have read this far...thank you. It means a lot to me. My father was an extraordinary man who lived an extraordinary life....he was selfless and kind, he was a gentleman of the oldschool. He taught me to be the person I am today. I adore him beyond measure.

Story‏ Laszlo Makay - Mercury Media 3/23/16 [Keep this message at the top of your inbox] To: Morayma Makay

January 29, 1957, finally the U.S. Navy’s ship after 10 days stormy voyage, middle of night, stopped a few miles before Newark, NJ. Many refugees who woke up went upstairs then we saw Newark in night. We felt exited. January 30th at 9 a.m. the ship started to move to the port. At the port, the Army’s orchestra welcomed us with the Hungarian anthem. Then we slowly moved down to the Army buses. The army officers handed President Eisenhower’s welcoming/greeting letter. We went to Camp Kilmer army base which that time was refugees reception center. There I was for 10 days. I enjoyed the military breakfast, lunch, and dinner. At the end a bus took me to the railway station. I was going to Los Angeles, California. To Cleveland, Chicago, El Paso 4th day early morning I arrived Union Station. There my cousin Magda waited for me. Taxi took us to her home. I got breakfast. Then we went to the rented furnished apartment. So started my life’s new chapter. I was so happy to see hard to believe the good life in America. In 1957, affordable furnished apartment. I started to learn English. Soon I got a job at Citizens National Bank/Crocker Bank, Supply department. I did such menial job. I was surprised that many Hungarians are lived in California. I found Hungarian church and Hungarian Club House. 2 Hungarian newspapers. I helped in founding a Hungarian Boy Scouts in Exile. Time passed. I could write and read English. Since English in not a phonetic language, so communicating in English was extremely difficult.

In 1950s the life and so the economic situation was fantastic. Every Sunday, after church (mass) in the parish hall we had good lunch for $1.00. Now it is $7.00. my first apartment rent was $40.00 and the utilities were included. Now it is unbelieve. Such apartments are $1,400.00 I could afford to have dinner in the restaurants. Then a good dinner cost me $2.00 or 3.00. everything were affordable. (except Rolls Royce) Postage stamp was 3 cents.Shirt was $ 4.00, and 5.00. time to time the Hungarians got married, I was many weddings. We had a great social events. Hungarian balls etc.

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My story‏ My story Laszlo Makay - Mercury Media 3/23/16 [Keep this message at the top of your inbox] To: Morayma Makay

In the meantime, for 11 years I had a girl-friend. We played tennis, ping-pong, went to skiing, traveling to many areas. The friendship ended because of her chain smoking. Once in July 4th 1972 Nemeth Vince and his wife invited me to a barbecue party in the Palisades Park. They asked me to help other friend, Nagy Laszlo who had a new friend Tere Kennedy. So I picked them up in the morning and went to the party. Tere is a cheerful, sweet young lady. Too sweet. Since then we were dating. We had a beautiful wedding in 11th street Methodist church. After wedding party we went to Santa Barbara honeymoon. Our first home was 1022 Second Street, Santa Monica. Since then we used visiting or accepting lunch or dinner invitations of Hungarian friends. The time passed too fast then my beautiful little Morayma arrived on May 25th. Coincidentally on my niece’s birthday. Morayma grew up too fast. Two years later, my mother came to visit my family. It was too sweet. Elementary school … we moved to 9th st. where I could still walk to the beach. I would take Morayma to walk in the Pallisades Park and feed the squirrels and watch her climb the trees, few year later again moved to Tampa FL.

Now again, I have to work. Make a list or I will tell you coming Sunday. Or I will type more tomorrow. I love you. I am always so proud of you. You are a strong woman like my mama was.